Three Things to Say to your Argumentative Mate
Mate, meaning romantic partner. What can you say when you’re in an argument and you want to turn things around? Lots of things. Here are three of them that are particularly useful for steering arguments in a positive direction.
Put yourself there. You’re in a fight with your partner. Things are heating up and you don’t want this to be yet another example of how you two can’t make things work. But what to say? You ask smart questions.
Three Smart Questions to Ask When you’re in an Argument
And remember, voice tone says more than words. You can ask a question and have it come off as an attack. You know what I mean, right? Before you ask, make sure you actually intend to turn things around.
1. If I admitted where I’ve gone wrong, will you punish me for it?
No, we’re not into BDSM. You’re not asking to be punished, but rather offering a concession. And don’t think you have zero responsibility for the argument. There you are, arguing. This question will turn things around.
2. What can I do right now?
It’s not that you’re guaranteeing that you’ll do it, but that you want to know. Understanding is what people want more than anything. When someone is in argument mode, any opportunity to be understood is welcome.
3. Can you act like you love me right now?
Your partner may love you, but may not be feeling it in the heat of the battle. Remind him/her. Of course, the answer you get may be, “No! I can’t just feel love for you right now! How could I? What are you, nuts?” Then, to back up your request, you can reply, “Well, I love you and I’m going to remember that starting right now.” Boom! Love restored.
Words. How we use them is everything. How you use words determines the quality of your life. Lovers, friends, parents, and…well….anyone can turn things around by using words well.